Janet Chester Bly
Copyright©2008
To fight for peace, interrogate yourself, like King David did: “Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me?” (Psalm 42:5 NASB)Figure out what’s wrong. Calculate what’s rumbling around inside that’s got you uptight, scattered, maybe hard to live with. Ask, “What’s the matter? Why do I feel this way?” Stay with it until you hone in on the key issue. A problem well-stated is half solved, so some say.
I stood before a group of young mothers and asked, “What one thing is your greatest struggle?”
A buzz of replies scattered around the room: “Being a good wife.” “Being a good mom.” “Knowing whether to work or not.” “Saving money.” Spending less.”
Delighted that these topics fit the theme of my prepared talks, I opened up my notes. But Shelley, an attractive and talented leader, slipped up her hand, let it down, then eased it up again. “I’ve read so much about self-image. Some of it has helped. I still don’t quite understand. How come I’m still trying to know myself, to like what I see? To feel at ease with whom I am?” She blushed as she glanced around the room.
Surprise registered on a number of faces. One by one, the other gals nodded agreement. Encouraged, Shelley added, “I’m afraid to attempt anything too ambitious while I battle questions like, ‘How do I look today?’ ‘How come so-and-so isn’t speaking to me?’ ‘How come I can’t do anything right?’ Do you ever get past this lack of confidence stage?”
She looked to me, a much older woman, to give advice and assurance. My mind whirled to sort out a semblance of wise words. Yet all I could think is that women my age struggle with similar challenges. In fact, aging changes can trigger more insecurities to overcome. What could I say that would help them gain perspective, to get a grip? To feel comfortable in their own skin? I knew well the spiritual journey balancing act. . .accept yourself, but also seek improvement. At the same time, forget yourself and reach out to others.
