TIP THE HALF-EMPTY PEACE CUP

Janet, gr-d Miranda, baby Alayah

Janet Chester Bly

Copyright©2008,2011

Joy happens in bits and parts. The good and bad stuff often gets garbled together. Each day's a mixed patch of glorious wonder and sticky weeds.

For instance. . . 

Alayah Isabel Ross, 2 days old

The past few days our 1^st great-grandchild was born. . .a girl, Alayah (“Allie) Isabel, a preemie, 5 weeks early at 4 lbs. 14 oz. Such a tiny doll compared to our 8 & 9 lb sons. Hubby Steve has also spent 5 days in the hospital. . .recuperating from pneumonia. On top of that, this week he’s having a splint put into his kidney and a few days after starts another regimen of a new and different chemo. Ups and downs. Sweet and sickly.  That’s our reality. However, we do see Jesus in it all.

“In this world you will have trouble and tribulation,” Jesus stated (John 16:33). No ifs. Just a when.

Which is it for you? Do you look forward to smooth sails or rough rapids today? Storms or glory holes? What do you witness outside your world’s window?

The way you think, the way you faith life, determines your P. Q., your Peace Quotient.

In the peace wars, celebrate when. . .the bathroom scales report the magic number. There’s enough hot water for every family member. The news shows have nothing better to debate than whether Texas or New Mexico chili is better. You get through to a tech support live person on a first try and they speak legible English. Johnny comes marching home again harm’s way and there’s an intact family to greet him.

In the peace wars, also accept the truth of God’s presence, purpose and power when. . .wrinkles are here to stay. A blizzard’s blowing and the power’s off. They’re rioting in Africa. There’s a virus in your body and your computer. Someone close just can’t seem to get you.

Meanwhile, rejoice with those who hit some sort of joy lottery today. Cheer with them best you can. Also, embrace your own moments of grace. Pause for sincere, deep thanks to the Author of all good things. Then, tackle your share of the tumble of troubles poured out on this sin-sick, war-torn planet.

You should know by now, this truly isn’t the Garden anymore. We’re way, way east of Eden.

I pray for you. . .that God who gives you hope will keep you happy and full of peace as you believe in him. I pray that God will help you overflow with hope in him through the Holy Spirit’s power within you. (Romans 15:13 TLB) 

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Get a free download of "31 Ways To Win The Fight For Personal Peace" at http://Blybooks.com/articles.htm/ 

FESS UP TO YOUR PHOBIA

Janet Chester Bly

Copyright©2008,2010

Everybody’s got one. Even the rich and famous.

Movie rags claim Billy Bob Thornton freaks out when around antique furniture. He won’t stay in a hotel furnished with them.

Caution: Snake Area

Johnny Depp and Diddy both fear clowns, a condition known as coulrophobia.

Indiana Jones can’t abide snakes.

Others declare their panic at disorder and become natty neatniks or obsessive-compulsive.

Sometimes we call these conditions pet peeves or obsessions. When does it get to phobia stage? A phobia is “a persistent, abnormal, or illogical aversion or fear of a specific thing or situation” (The American Heritage Dictionary).

Hang-gliding

I certainly have mine. One thing for me. . .I can’t abide heights, especially while in a moving object. . .like a glass elevator, cable car, ski lift, hot air balloon. Or go hang-gliding! On the other hand, I've learned to relax, most of the time, in an airplane. Just don’t let there be turbulence. . .or, horrors, a transparent bottom.

Some fear is good. To stay alert. To be cautious in where you go, what you do. But paralysis to the point you can’t think or act. . .not so great.

Make a measure of peace with your most freaked-out fear. Especially if it prevents your being all God created you to be. Easy to say. Hard to do. Ask God to help you. To come to gritty grips with it. With his presence, his power, his purpose.

“Lord, calm my heart. Ease my mind. Give me one practical action to  fight this giant with a slingshot.”

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"Do not give way to fear" (I Peter 3:6 NIV).

What do you dread? What makes you apprehensive to the point of extreme angst. . .or terror? Do you dare even name it? And when you do, what have you done about it?

Download the full article, "31 Ways To Win The Fight For Personal Peace," at http://BlyBooks.com/articles.htm

7 WAYS TO CREATE A SEASON OF PEACE

Janet Chester Bly

Sometimes it seems we here in the mountains of northern Idaho experience the shortest autumn period in the west. A few weeks tops. Yet, fall’s my favorite season. The colors. The sunsets. The crispy, sensory sounds and smells and sights. I could live in the heights of this season forever. 

Fall signifies peace to me. If I could order a perfect weather day, it would be…70-ish degrees. The softest of breezes. Streaks and puffs of layered clouds brushing the azure sky. Clean-cut air.

But just like the weather, peace of mind seems to come and go for me and most of those around me. It’s over-turned by . . . Panic. Turmoil. Sleepless nights. Storms of stress. Troubled times.

Yet, over it all, Jesus says, “Keep calm. Don’t panic” (John 14:27).

My present goal? To walk with God every moment without anxiety, free of fear.

My prayer? “Lord, guide me in your way of peace. Help me do the actions that promote peace. . .for myself and others around me.”

One thing I’ve learned over the decades. . .fighting for God’s peace requires courage because . . . .

1) I choose love over hate.

2) I admit sometimes, “I was wrong.”

3) I try to comfort the afflicted.

4) I reach out to hug a prodigal.

5) I try real hard not to become a cynic when confronted with maddening words or outrageous deeds.

6) I’m on the watch for what God’s doing in my world, above and beyond the salacious, the distracting and diversionary, as well as the evil stuff.

7) When I hear heart-stopping news, I try to remember to ask, “Lord, what do you want me to do?” rather than “How did this mess happen?”

I’m training myself. . .not to freak out about the future. To grab hold of God’s big picture plan…the one that brims with promise of the abundance of good blessings, with compassion to all who reach out to him, and the forever peace of the life to come.

Autumn’s a transition period, an evolving stage. So is my life. So is yours. Remember that the next time leaves begin to turn and twist and fall.

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What is the season that denotes peace most to you and why?

10 TIPS TO SHOW SMART GRACE

Janet Chester Bly

Copyright©2010

Anytime the subject of grace comes up, I realize how short I fall in bestowing graciousness in every thought, word and deed. It begins with, just how well do I know God? He’s the epitome, the originator of grace. And I always remember hubby and pastor Stephen Bly’s definition for grace: "God’s love freely given to guilty sinners in defiance of what they deserve."

PEACE ON THE STREET WHERE YOU LIVE

Janet Chester Bly

Janet in office

Copyright©2008

Need peace? I sure do. Especially today. Here's what I'm trying to do.

Start at your place. In your home. In your own heart.

Plant peace among your own kith and kin. Then, branch out from there.

How? Here's some hints:

1) Aim for unity, but don’t insist on uniformity. Respect those who don’t think just like you do. Determine to love them anyway.

2) Flee when you can from those who spark continual explosions. However, strive to do the hard work of getting along with difficult people. Sometimes you just have to let them be. Admit you can’t ‘fix’ everyone.

Bly bunkhouse

3) Pray and release. Find a private place where you can scream or cry when you want and no one’s disturbed. Wrestle with your burdens. Figure out a temporary escape route. A healthy retreat. A haven of rest. Even if it’s a closet. . .or bathroom. A perfect Peace Place can be a sanctuary, a wooded area, a corner of the library, or a table at Starbucks. Prove to yourself that peace is possible, even if you snatch it for only a few instants each day.

Stop by a church on a weekday. Claim a secluded beach or bench. Drive, bike, hike … or take the subway … to the most scenic place closest to your dwelling – a park, a lake, a river, a reserve or a garden.

4) Head for your house. Close the curtain. Shut the door. Just for today.

5) Or maybe all you have is privacy. You’re alone all the time. If so, what’s your main need? Take it to God in prayer … until you know from your heart that he is enough, whether or not he provides a friend or mate right away.

6) Practice God’s peace today in every phone call, every irritation, every contact, in any disappointment or sorrow. Build a habit of peace when you’re confronted by a person who you just don’t get. Who needles your most fine-tuned nerve. Who seems to use you.

7) Be calm. Be cool. Be collected.  Be kind and gracious … no matter what is said or done. Just for today.

"Try to stay out of all quarrels ... Look after each other so that not one of you will fail to find God's best blessings. Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you, for as it springs up it causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives." (Hebrews 12:14,15 NKJV).

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How hard has it been for you to find peace lately?

What's your best solution?

Article: Download for free “31 Days To Win The Fight For Personal Peace” at http://BlyBooks.com/articles.htm

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RELEASE REMORSE

Janet & Jan

Janet Chester Bly

Copyright©2008,2010

A friend and I discussed the points of a sermon we heard Sunday morning. We both agreed that even though we know that God loves us … one of the hardest things we struggle with is feeling free to be ourselves. We don’t want to offend. We don’t want to stand out. We want others to like us.

We both shared times when we acted out, or blurted words, perhaps part of our true natures, that reaped embarrassment or guilt.  We’ve blown it. This caused us sometimes to be reticent to say or do anything in a similar situation again.

“How do I release the dumb things I’ve said or done and find relief to be the person I really am?” she asked.

We all dread dredging up past painful memories. When we’ve done wrong things. Or failed to do something right. We fired lightning sparks in the situation, instead of enlightenment. We flunk the tests of life. Guilt’s our grade.

But at least guilt’s better than a dead conscience. Still, finding a way to reconcile, to make peace with ourselves, with others, with God … that’s glorious. Working through the trips of guilt proves our spirits are alive. We’re responsible persons. We’re accountable citizens. We’re spiritual beings. We repent, turn around, and go the other way.

In all sorts of moods and weather, finding true inner peace when we disappoint ourselves, when we hurt others, can take a long time if …

We won’t admit it when we’re wrong.

We know we’re wrong, but we’re full of excuses … such as, blame others.

We’re unable to admit we’re capable of wounding words or fatal flaws.

We refuse to apologize without qualifiers.

We’re unable to accept forgiveness and go on.

We fail to realize we’re as faulty as those we judge.

We won’t allow God to heal us, to put us together again, as only he can.

We make peace with shame when we give our moral failure to God’s Son, Jesus (1 John 1:9). We call it what it is. We place a name to the deed.

My friend and I discussed the need to transfer every detail of wronged relationships and their aftermath to God, our best Friend.  To surrender to his wise and powerful keeping everyone involved and affected.

When we depend on him to make crooked places straight, when we do a free-fall into his love, his acceptance, his grace … we rid ourselves of remorse. We release that best part of us we call personality, our unique gift to the world. He heals our souls.

“They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces were not ashamed” (Psalm 34:5 NKJV).

When do you experience the most freedom to fully be yourself … and have no need for later regrets?

You may download the free article, “31 Days To Win The Fight For Personal Peace” at http://BlyBooks.com/articles.htm

GET OUT!

JANET CHESTER BLY

Copyright©2008,2010

Yesterday proved to be a downer day. I felt listless. Nothing grabbed me as important on my 'to do' list. I sat at home and fumbled with a riff-raff of miscellany. No purpose. No peace. I needed to get out.

 

Peace develops as a process.

Do you want personal peace? Then, get out of yourself and risk a project, a cause, or a relationship. "But that's just why I don't have peace," you might protest. "It's all that stuff and stress of life that gets me down." But the search for peace itself turns your attention inward. Focused on your wants. Your needs. Unless you reach outward, your efforts fail. You stagnate. One living being must reach out to another to stir potential vibrate life.

So, there's no guarantee that what you attempt to do brings you peace. Maybe not. But you won't know unless you try. Peace develops as a process. There's no magic spray can. If there was, you could buy it in 5-gallon drums.

I recall my confusion when my friend Karyn avoided another woman. I thought she and Alexa had much in common. Both had red hair. They loved to ski. They raised chow dogs. And they each had a great sense of humor. Slam dunk friendship, I thought.

Little Orphan Annie

"Alexa makes me feel like a penny waiting for change," Karyn finally confessed. "Or like Little Orphan Annie before she got her perm and learned how to dance and sing."

I realized Karyn measured herself by the ways they were different, not by similarities. They were too much alike, so comparisons happened. My friend was honest and perceptive enough to admit she felt they competed for the attention and affection of the same group of folks.

Once she got convicted of her wrong attitude, she determined to get out, to get of herself. "That's why I reacted so quickly when one of Alexa's dogs was diagnosed with an infectious disease. I knew I needed to help her with cleaning her pens and getting her other dogs separated. I did it more for me than for her--to get my heart right."

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When have you needed to get out, that is, get out of yourself and risk doing something for someone else? Did it lead to personal peace?

ENGAGE THE FAULTS

Janet Chester Bly

Copyright©2008,2010

I’m surrounded by imperfect people. And so are you.

Faults splinter the spine of every nation. Every leader. Every family. Every marriage. Every child. Every human. So many hurting, fractured relationships. Only God is perfect in all he says and does. Yet, multitudes get cranky with him too. Factor this into your interactions with people…all the complexity of those hassles. It’s part of the war you fight for peace.

What you consider flaws could be different filters. Not everyone sees issues the same nor holds compatible opinions. What’s with that? Drives you crazy, for sure. But that’s part of the mix. Get over it.

“I can stay composed for days on end, then ‘bingo,’ I lose it.” It’s good to know you’re flawed too. Be open to truth about yourself, about others, about your world. Then, live with it.

Marcella’s husband is a very methodical, exacting re-modeler. She has offered to help countless times, but he refuses. Meanwhile, Marcella and her four kids have been cramped in the basement for. . .would you believe?. . .nineteen years! They must traipse through the roomy disrepair and sawdust upstairs to leave the house.

How does she endure this travesty?

Marcella did a slow burn until she convinced her hubby to dig out an entrance from the basement. After several months, this one job got done. Marcella landscaped the back entrance with purple dahlias, alyssum, and lots of yellow daisies. Now that she avoids the upstairs route, she’s stopped stewing so much. She's too busy enjoying the butterflies.

Understand that no relationship will be perfect and you’ve conquered the major frustrations of your existence. Deal with what you’ve got. But also…be extra cautious about what you take on.

Folks who truly want peace get creative. 

What ‘very-different-for-you’ touch can you put on your day’s events and relationships…that just might turn it around?

WRANGLE ONE WORRY

Janet Chester Bly

Copyright©2008

It seems unreasonable to not be full of concern. . .most every day. There’s so much wrong in the world and it’s in our face. . .most all the time. But we can release the brain-breaking burden, at least some part of it.

You and I can’t take on everyone’s problems. Not even of those we love most. But there’s also the fears and frets within, as well as pressures without.  

Here’s something to do today: part with one peace blocker. Refuse to take it back. Give up what dams up the rivers of sparkling, living streams of peace and calm inside you.

Consider whether you lack peace because you. . .like to be in control and you aren’t. . .haven’t been grateful for all that’s good and right in your world for a long time. . .tend to judge and be critical and it comes back to harangue you.

Friend Gail sings a lilting soprano so lovely that she’s often asked to perform at public events. But she tends to decline, much to everyone’s loss. “I can’t bear to sing solos in front of anyone but those close to me,” she explains. “It’s terrifying. It's like I've hung a 'no singing' sign on the home wall of my heart.”

During a weekend retreat, something the speaker said helped her realize: “I’m very critical of others who sing, since I’ve had a lot of voice training.” She concluded that her harsh assessments of others tumbled over to the sounds of self-critic in her own ear. “I assume the same kind of treatment from those who listen to me.”

Gail began by being gracious to herself and lifting her voice to God and for his glory. That got her attention on the right focus. Now her singing’s more than a trained talent. It’s a spiritual gift.

How have you wrangled a worry or blocked a peace buster lately?

"I will make peace your governor and righteousness your ruler" (Isaiah 60:17b NIV).

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To download a free copy of the whole article, “31 Days To Win The Fight For Personal Peace,” go to: www.BlyBooks.com/articles.htm

CAPTURE ONE ERRANT THOT

JANET CHESTER BLY

Copyright©2008

One thing about growing older that quite surprises me. . .crankiness gets harder, not easier to control. That sure dampens calm and cool and collected.  

But personal peace is still possible. . .because it's a choice. If you're controlled by cranky, here's my take. Convert at least one negative meditation habit. Become your own mind control police.

One suggestion: dull an inordinate passion by switching to an opposite spirit. For example, in place of jealousy. . .try gratitude. Bitterness. . .show kindness. Anger. . .put on compassion. Practice this over and over until it's second nature.

Counselors like Byron Paulus of Life Action Ministries claim that a deep root of bitterness and unforgiveness infests the vast majority of their tens of thousands of clients. The consequences spread the globe. A counselor or mentor or friend might help you cleanse foul feelings or raging responses which poison your well of peace.

God can help. But you must cooperate. You've got to really want to convert. Grab the reins to your mind and give them to Him. That might mean action, such as. . .

Spend less time with angry, jealous, bitter folks. 

Set boundaries for acting out your emotions.

Redirect your feelings to positive channels.

Rather than rancid revenge, opt for sweet pardon.

Instead of rampant reprisals, quickly forgive.

Easy to write. Hard to do. But it's so worth it. For the sake of inner peace. Do it for you.

-- What surprises you most as you grow older?

-- What one effective action on your part assists you to get a grip, to convert your energy-sapping attitude to a positive one?

For a free download of the article "31 Days To Win The Fight For Personal Peace," go to www.BlyBooks.com/articles.htm   

WANNA HAVE PEACE?

Janet Chester Bly

Copyright©2008

Maybe you’re over-committed, over-extended.

Say ‘no’ to something or someone. Discern what can be ignored, sidelined. Look for the nearest exit sign.

Resign from something—a committee, a board, a panel. Refuse to be pressured into taking on a duty you know is not for you. Like my husband is fond of saying, “If you’re sitting on a dead horse. . .get off.”

“Walk out of a dull, pointless meeting—just get up and walk out” (Barbara Ann Kipfer, The Wish List).

Or refuse your own personal demands.

Does something hold you in its grip? It’s never enough, never satisfies, never brings deep, lasting peace, yet you feel compelled under a kind of addictive control? Anyone tempt you to lie and deceive? To do something behind closed doors, away from responsible, accountable persons? Anything that impairs your judgment? Hardens your conscience? Wounds your credibility? Keeps you at a distance from God?

“Say ‘no’ whenever you gracefully can. In doing so, you are saying ‘yes’ to those you love most” (Liz Curtis Higgs).

Perfect peace primes the heart and mind to tell yourself “No!” When you tend to eat too much, exercise too little. When you put off housework until it’s beyond hodgepodge. When you expect to get more done than is possible. When you ease the stress with unwise, unhealthy, even forbidden choices…as a sort of reward…because you work so hard.

Avoid the tendency to overdo. When your ‘to-do list’ seems a joke because you never complete it. Then stop making such a long one. Do only 3 most important actions today. Eliminate iffy urgency items. Remember: you don’t have to do everything now.

You can manage your restless search for meaning, purpose, and personal peace with a few simple steps.

“We’re being shown how to turn our backs on a godless, indulgent life, and how to take on a God-filled, God-honoring life” (Titus 2:12 MSG).

Get the full article, “31 Days to Win The Fight For Personal Peace,” as a free download at www.BlyBooks.com/articles.htm

Order Managing Your Restless Search by Janet Chester Bly at www.BlyBooks.com/store.htm 

A 24-HOUR PEACE TEST

JANET CHESTER BLY
Copyright©2008

Take on this challenge: refuse to say a negative or critical word for one whole entire day. Not one judgment call. Nary a single complaint.







How hard is it for you?
What do you learn about yourself?
If you mess up, try again until you get it right.

My friends tell me I'm a gracious person, that I rarely say a disparaging word. And I almost believe them. Until I take on a test like this and notice how often I have to check my tongue and edit my mind.


Sure, you don't want to live like this all the time. It's unrealistic. Maybe not smart. After all, discernment's needed in this sin-sick, war-torn world. But inner peace rules when you can release your negatives to God. If you can do it for a day, you deserve a blue ribbon!


"Become complete. Be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you" (2 Corinthians 13:11).

DO THE SUB WAY

Janet Chester Bly
Copyright©2008

Practice peace like you get healthier. Substitute one serving of red meat with fish. Add a green veggie, a fruit, some grains. Display color on your plate. Do one thing daily that improves your physical well being.

Practice peace like you care for your stuff. If the windshield’s cracked, you repair it as soon as possible. Untreated, it gets worse, until the whole windshield must be replaced. By the same standard, small fissures erupt into volcanoes, if ignored.

Practice peace with an upgrade to your mental and spiritual input. Replace National Inquirer with Reader’s Digest. Opt for the PG movie rather than the R offering. Buy your DVDs at Hallmark or Family Fun instead of Horror Haven. Or whatever suits your system.

I’m a news junkie. Unsolved mysteries. Political debates. Social issues. The who, what, when, where, how and especially why intrigues me. I’m glued to the TV when the world shatters. However, I’ve come to realize that this steady diet of negative input disrupts my peace and sometimes my stability, as well as the composure of those nearest me. I need a balance with prayer and positive faith.

News shows may not be your thing. But what’s a given choice in your environment that frames your mindset, influences your responses? Is there something you can or should do about it?

I’ve been working on self-control to break my cable addiction. By a study of the day’s events in segments of five minutes or less—for a higher purpose—to know enough to care and be informed and pray for the principals—not to devour endless data. I intercede for suffering souls, not just talk about them. I also try to sub feel good or chick flick movies on occasion. Or read uplifting novels. Or inspirational magazines instead.

I aim to get more done, to be more relaxed. One peace buster figured out. But I’m not a slick sample of smooth moods yet. I still get riled by guys like O’Reilly.

“You’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse” (Philippians 4:8 MSG)


taken from “31 Days To Win The Fight For Personal Peace”
To download the full article, go to: www.BlyBooks.com/articles.htm